spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
