Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
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It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
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My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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