smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My friends, they love my intelligence
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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