your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
