she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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