On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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