The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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