So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
