I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize