you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
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just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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