I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
