I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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