I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
