Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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