Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
that's an acceptable place to lick
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
