yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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