I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
