just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
