does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Randomize