so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
