oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
