dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
True strength comes from lack of pants
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
