Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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