Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
high people should be assigned attendants
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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