I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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