I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
