What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
