Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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