there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
