I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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