Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
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