Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
