it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
pray to the hookup gods
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
