did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
