the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
