You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
