I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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