I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
