I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
