Apparently you make a good broom.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You made out with two different species that night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
