Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
