Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
