I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
