so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
My pussy is not your playground.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
