Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
