If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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