Need sex. Gaining weight.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
