We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
