My brain says no but my pants say off.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
