You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
