They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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