you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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