Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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