My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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