My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
