I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
