Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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