I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
