What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
